- I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
- —Richard Nixon
- Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced; even a proverb is no proverb to you till your life has illustrated it.
- —John Keats
- Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.
- —Joseph Addison
- A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.
- —Ramsey Clark
- Hit the ball over the fence and you can take your time going around the bases.
- —Logan Pearsall Smith "After Thoughts"
- Si vi pacem, para bellum-- If you want peace, prepare for war.
- —Latin adage
- You have the same right to smoke as you do to swing your arms. And both rights end where my nose begins.
- —Cris Simpson, Technique, 1/24/86
- What do you call a two part lemma? A di-lemma!
- —Alan Delk, 1/31/86
- Life is like a basketball game. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The important thing is to be ahead when the buzzer goes off.
- —Jeff Offutt
- During the Reagan-Mondale debates... Q: Do you feel that a person's age affects his ability to perform as president? REAGAN: I refuse to make an issue out of my opponent's youth and inexperience.
- —Ronald Reagan
- Happiness is never stopping to think if you are.
- —Palmer Sondreal
- If it matters not if you win or lose, why do they keep score?
- —Adolph Rupp
- If you build a better mouse trap you will catch better mice.
- —George Gobel
- Show me a man who is perfect and I'll show you a man who has no goals.
- —Jeff Offutt
- So, think you're going to write a thesis, huh? Big mistake. I did and they made me leave! Be careful!
- —Dave Pitts
- Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
- —St. Francis of Assissi
- A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking real money.
- —Sen. Everett Dirksen
- The first principle is that you must not fool yourself-- and you are the easiest person to fool.
- —Richard Feynman (Nobel '65)
- To betray, you must first belong. I never belonged.
- —H. A. R. "Kim" Philby, British traitor
- If you can write a nation's stories, you needn't worry about who makes its laws. Today, television tells most of the stories to most of the people most of the time.
- —George Gerbner
- Your mother's eyes, through your eyes, cry to me.
- —Brian May, Queen, "'39", Night at the Opera
- When you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it.
- —Lord Kelvin
- If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach him how to go fishing, you feed him for a lifetime.
- —Gandhi
- A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
- —Mark Twain
- Don't mind criticism-- If it is untrue, disregard it, If it is unfair, don't let it irritate you, If it is ignorant, smile, If it is justified, learn from it,
- —???
- Act the way you'd like to be and soon you'll be the way you act.
- —George Crane
- If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day.
- —John A. Wheeler
- Theories are more like graduate students-- once admitted, you try hard to avoid flunking them out.
- —Newell, 1990, p. 14
- If you want truly to understand something, try to change it.
- —Kurt Lewin
- REPORTER: "How did you like school when you were growing up, Yogi?" YOGI BERRA: "Closed." KEN BOSWELL: "I'm in a rut. I can't break myself of this habit. I keep swinging up at the ball." YOGI BERRA: "Well, swing down." RUBE WALKER: "Hey, Yogi, what time is it?" YOGI BERRA: "You mean now?"
- —Yogi Berra
- Yeah, what paper you write for, Ernie?
- —Yogi Berra after being introduced to Ernest Hemingway.
- In baseball, you don't know nothing.
- —Yogi Berra
- INTERVIEWER: "I understand you had an audience with the Pope." YOGI BERRA: "No, but I saw him." INTERVIEWER: "Did you get to talk to him?" YOGI BERRA: "I sure did. We had a nice little chat." INTERVIEWER: "What did he say?" YOGI BERRA: "Ya know, he must read the papers a lot, because he said, 'Hello, Yogi.'" INTERVIEWER: "And what did you say?" YOGI BERRA: "I said, 'Hello, Pope.'"
- —Yogi Berra
- MARY LINDSAY: "You look nice and cool Yogi." YOGI BERRA: "You don't look so hot yourself."
- —Yogi Berra
- REPORTER: "What would you do if you found a million dollars?" YOGI BERRA: "If the guy was poor, I would give it back."
- —Yogi Berra
- Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.
- —Yogi Berra
- If life were fair, the acquisition of a large bosom or a massive inheritance would have no bearing on your ability to attract the opposite sex, and Dan Quayle would be making a living asking runny-nosed children, `Do you want fries with that?'
- —John Cleese, "Corporate Computing" magazine
- When you're doing nothing it's hard to know when to stop.
- —Anonymous
- Leadership is making other people believe in you.
- —Larry Bird, "Drive"
- We have read your manuscript with boundless delight. If we were to publish your paper, it would be impossible for us to publish any work of lower standard. And as it is unthinkable that in the next thousand years we shall see its equal, we are, to our regret, compelled to return your divine composition, and to beg you a thousand times to overlook our short sight and timidity.
- —Chinese economic journal rejection letter
- If you sit on the bench, don't expect a trophy.
- —Mary Jean Harrold
- To understand a man, you must know his memories. The same is true of a nation.
- —Anthony Quayle on "The Heart of the Dragon", SC ETV
- Dig the well before you are thirsty.
- —Chinese proverb
- Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
- —Benjamin Spock
- American: It's Greek to me. Greek: Stop talking Chinese! Chinese: Your words are like Buddha's attendant, 12 feet tall, whose head I cannot reach! Poles: I am hearing a sermon in Turkish! French: Pray stop talking Hebrew! Jews: Stop knocking a teapot!
- —???
- Nobody suffers the pain of birth or the anguish of loving a child in order for presidents to make wars, for governments to feed on the substance of their people, for insurance companies to cheat the young and rob the old.
- —Lewis Lapham
- Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
- —Euripides
- If you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to either of you for the rest of the day.
- —???
- A man asked Gandhi to help get his son off sugar. Gandhi asked him to come back in a week. A week later, Gandhi talked to the son and the son quit sugar. The man asked Gandhi "Why didn't you talk to him last week?" and Gandhi said "Last week I was on sugar".
- —Gandhi
- May you live in interesting times.
- —Chinese curse (proverb?)
- Nothing is really work unless you'd rather be doing something else.
- —James M. Barrie
- You don't stop playing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop playing.
- —Ray Kaminski
- Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that it will make you break your word or lose your self-respect.
- —Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
- Maturity is when you know not to do the things you have to apologize for, and not apologizing for the things you have to do.
- —Ask Helen
- You are younger than you will ever be again.
- — Sandy Mayo
- If you are not free to fail, you are not free.
- — Gene Burns
- Sometimes I can sound very clear ... until you try to put it into your own words. That is when I know I am at my clearest.
- — Jeff Offutt
- I try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at a Irish wake," he said. "They need you in order to have the party, but nobody expects you to say much."
- —National Security Advisor Anthony Lake, addressing students and faculty at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst
- Here, try this. It's called root beer. Ugh, it's vile! Yes, it's sweet, and cloying, and ... bubbly. And so ... happy! Just like the Federation!? And you know what's worse? If you drink enough of it, you start to like it. It's insidious! Just like the Federation.
- —Star Trek: Deep Space 9
- In the west you can look further and see less than any other place in the world.
- —Anonymous Arizona Rancher
- Say what you have to say, not what you ought.
- —Henry David Thoreau
- Never test for a bug you don't know how to fix.
- —Mike McCracken
- You govern a kingdom by normal rules; You fight a war by exceptional moves; But you win the world by leaving it alone.
- —Lao Tzu
- If you cannot say what you mean, you will never mean what you say.
- —???
- You cannot depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus.
- —???
- By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
- —???
- It is not what you are! It is what you do not become that hurts ...
- —sources unknown
- As long as you stand in your own way, everything seems to be in your way.
- —???
- No day in which you learn something is a complete loss.
- —David Eddings, King of the Murgos
- Whenever you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.
- —Harry S. Truman
- Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
- —???
- You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- —Dean Martin
- To have a child is wonderous for it is having your heart to walk around outside of you.
- —??
- If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his true friend.
- —Abraham Lincoln
- It takes a couple of decades to realize that you were well taught. All true education is a delayed-action bomb assembled in the classroom for explosion at a later date. An educational fuse 50 years long is by no means unusual.
- —Howard G. Hendricks
- Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question ... Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use.
- —Carlos Castaneda, The Teachings of Don Juan
- Remember the high board at the swimming pool? After days of looking up at it you finally climbed the wet steps to the platform. From there, it was higher than ever. There were only two ways down: the steps to defeat or the dive to victory. You stood on the edge, shivering in the hot sun, deathly afraid. At last you leaned too far forward, it was too late for retreat, and you dived. The high board was conquered, and you spent the rest of the day diving. Climbing a thousand high boards, we demolish fear, and turn into human beings.
- —Richard Bach
- MY TEACHING: What you discover on your own is always more exciting than what someone else discovers for you-- it's like the diference between romantic love and an arranged marriage.
- —Terrence Rafferty
- You can't only do what's possible, you must change what's possible.
- —Eliot Feld, Ballet director
- If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
- —Mark Twain
- Freedom to be your best means nothing unless you're willing to do your best.
- —Colin Powell
- Be nice to your siblings. When you grow up, they are your connection to your past and the only people in the world that you can always count on, no matter what.
- —I don't know
- To save your world you asked this man to die; Would this man, could he see you now, ask why?
- —W. H. Auden, "Epitaph for an Unknown Soldier"
- Like a stone thrown in the ocean, teachers make small changes that are easily overlooked, but whose effects continue forever in ways that are seldom attributed. An education is one thing that can never be taken away from you, and a teacher is a person who always stays with you.
- —Jeff Offutt
- If you have it (the problem), then fix it, otherwise use it to encourage you.
- —Chinese folk saying
- An error doesn't become a mistake until you don't correct it.
- —Source unknown
- I don't give grades, you earn them.
- —Source unknown
- And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
- —Abraham Lincoln
- Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- —John Wooden
- Fine dining will make you fat, but fresh butter on cornbread will make you cry.
- —Chris Offutt, No Heroes
- If you want to get enlightenment, then what you need most of all are a Great Question and try-mind. Complete determination. Only try. Only try. Only do it.
- —Seung Sahn
- Jeff, you are the best tone-deaf musician I have ever known.
- —Phil Shepherd (my high school band director)
- You're clverer than you look. Yet, better than looking cleverer then you are.
- — Q, James Bond, "Die Another Day"
- Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- —Abraham Lincoln
- It would be easier to write papers on testing if you didn't have to contemplate actually using the stuff you are writing.
- —Richard Carver
- Everybody falls now and then. It's not just you. The important thing is not to let it throw you, make you afraid.
- —David Eddings, The Losers
- Client-side input validation is like letting your opponent hold your shield while he bangs his sword on it!
- —Jeff Offutt
- If you have nothing to say, you don't have to put it into words.
- —Alex Brodsky
- You can use an eraser on the drafting table or a sledge hammer on the construction site.
- —Frank Lloyd Wright
- I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- —Maya Angelou
- Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one.
- —Friedrich Nietzsche
- You cannot reason a man out of a position he has not reasoned himself into.
- —Ben Franklin
- Combat isn't where you might die--it's where you find out whether you get to keep on living.
- —Sebastian Junger
- Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
- —Bob Marley
- First law: The pesticide paradox. Every method you use to prevent or find bugs leaves a residue of subtler bugs against which those methods are ineffective.
- —Boris Beizer
- In programming, it's often the buts in the specification that kill you.
- —Boris Beizer
- Forget that lone hacker image if you still cherish it. And if contemporary software engineering with its procedural structure bothers you, if the fast-tight algorithm is still the driving force in your designs - then get out! Find another domain, such as an R-and-D sandbox or an unreconstructed software shop, in which to play at programming.
- —Boris Beizer
- Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- —Albert Einstein
- Young people think quick thoughts. Old people think deep thoughts. Leaders think long thoughts.
- —Jeff Offutt
- In life, as in baseball, you don't have to be strong to hit a home run. You just have to hit it dead center.
- —Jeff Offutt
- If you ignore quality, everything else is easy.
- —Jeff Offutt
- In baseball if you succeed 3 out of 10 times you're a great player. Failing 7 out of 10 times is tough. Overcoming that failure isn't easy.
- —Ian Desmond
- If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- —Mario Andretti
- If you achieve all your dreams, you didn't dream big enough.
- —Jeff Offutt
- If you're the only calm person, are you sure you know what's going on?
- —???
- Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first be sure that you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes.
- —William Gibson
- The global economy imposes a tax on young people in the form of learning English.
- —Robert Laughlin
- Don't let your weaknesses block your strengths.
- —Jeff Offutt
- If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
- —Albert Einstein
- When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
- —Henry J. Kaiser
- When you stop learning, you start dying.
- —Jeff Offutt
- To be sucessful, you must first learn to lose.
- —Jeff Offutt
- If you don't solve the problem before writing the code, you're creating more problems.
- —Jeff Offutt
- Staying young is simple. Every year, go somewhere new, do something new, meet someone new, learn something new.
- —Jeff Offutt
- Love learning more than you love being right. Love finding out more than you love knowing. Love rebounding more than you love scoring. Love improving more than you love achieving. Love growing more than you love being. Love helping more than you love having. Love teaching more than you love scolding and gloating. Love building more than you love bragging. Love walking the walk more than you love talking. Love leading more than you love controlling.
- —unknown
- When you're tired, sometimes you need rest, and sometimes you need peace. It's important to know the difference.
- —Jeff Offutt
- Leadership is action, not position. Action inspires, whereas position alone does not. A successful leader has integrity that is above reproach, truly listens, treats everyone with respect, and seeks to find consensus where many only see differences. Successful leadership requires an understanding that it?s all about the people you lead rather than about yourself.
- —Annie Anton
- One of the grubby truths about a loss is that you don't just mourn the dead person, you mourn the person you got to be when the lost one was alive. This loss might even be what affects you the most.
- —Meghan O'Rourke, The Long Goodbye
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